Neck Warmer

I'm headed to Chicago for a couple weeks, and was tricked into purchasing my first scarf. I've always been weary of these neck fashion items. Do they really keep your neck warm? What is the jacket zipper for anyways? Just to be sure, I made up some rules for me to remember and follow...


Heterosexual Male Scarf Wearing Rules to live by:

1. No scarf should be worn when the temperature is above 45 degrees
2. Scarves should always accompany a winter jacket, never alone.
3. Scarves will never exceed 4 different colors - 3 if one color is a pastel
4. No dangly tassle things on the end.
   
5. If it looks like a boa constrictor is around your neck, take it off.
6. Scarves should not be long enough to trip over.
7. No overly dramatic hand gestures while wearing a scarf.
8. No man bags, even when NOT wearing a scarf.
9. Carry masculine items in plane view at all times...like guns.
   

Good Song: Iron & Wine and Calexico - Burn that Broken Bed